von Bernd Beier
Die staatliche Nachrichtenagentur MENA aus Kairo präsentiert erste Erfolgsmeldungen aus dem heldenhaften Kampf des ägyptischen Staats gegen den Schwarzen Block:
“Eighteen suspects accused of belonging a group of protesters known as the Black Bloc were arrested on Thursday and at least one is accused of ties with Israel, said the prosecutor general’s office.”
Mit traumwandlerischer Sicherheit hat die Generalstaatsanwaltschaft den Weltoberschurkenstaat als Drahtzieher ausgemacht und unwiderlegbare Beweise aufgetrieben:
„One suspect was arrested in a building on Tahrir Square, and allegedly was in possession of maps and documents pertaining to vital institutions in Cairo, including banks and oil companies, claimed a statement issued by the prosecutor’s office, as reported in state-run news agency MENA.
The prosecution claimed that the map in question was Israeli-made, although he did not elaborate on how the authorities knew that it was Israeli in origin.”
Auch das Outfit für den Schwarzen Block aufzutreiben, erfordert außergewöhnliches subversives Geschick, glaubt man der Generalstaatsanwaltschaft:
“Another individual was arrested in Mahalla while allegedly negotiating a deal with a garment factory owner to manufacture the black masks and outfits worn by Black Bloc protesters, alleged the prosecution.”
Vielleicht ist die Staatsanwaltschaft auf diese brillante Idee durch die Lektüre des furiosen Texts von Mahmoud Salem alias Sandmonkey gekommen, der an eine andere Staatsaffäre erinnert, in der schwarze Klamotten eine wichtige Rolle spielten:
“In 1996, the Egyptian government’s security forces started a witch hunt against ‘satanists’ in Egypt. They arrested musicians in shitty Egyptian metal bands, and their fans, and submitted to the public the great evidence collected in such arrests, which included black clothes or even black T-shirts.
Egyptian parents, the non-hysterical logical creatures that they are, went through their kids’ closets and got rid of any suspicious black t-shirts they could find. It was a period that most Egyptians would like to forget, partially because it ended up nothing but a media circus, but mostly because it was a national embarrassment for everyone involved.
The parents were embarrassed for being idiots, and the children were embarrassed because they discovered that their parents were idiots. Luckily, the Y2K scare came along, and people scared themselves for another 4 years, just to enjoy that whole ‘we are idiots’ feeling once again. It’s our national pastime now.”